Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Things that you should not do on Facebook. Really.


Here is the list of next 10 things NOT TO DO on Facebook besides the ones already said.

11)Edit every picture into B/W. Seriously,if only skin problems could really be concealed by cheap imitation of a retro look!

12) Thanking everyone who 'likes' an update.
Pinku likes your photo 2 minutes ago
Your comment: Thank you Pinku :) few seconds ago
Changu likes your photo 1 minute ago
Your comment: Thanks Changu :)<3

13)Adding everyone right out of the Facebook Suggestions column. Arre bhai, facebook ne suggest kiya hai... nahi add kiya, toh kya Zuckerberg bura maan jaayega?

14) Inapplicable usage of the 'heart' smiley. I know a character "<" and a number "3", when put together, miraculously turn into a muscular organ that provides a continuous blood circulation through the cardiac cycle and is one of the most vital organs in the human body. But that's technology. Move on, hmmkay?


15) Changing your relationship status from single to 'in a relationship', suck all the attention you otherwise don't get in life, and then change back to 'single' scoffing it off as a mistake. Er, really? Or was it love, sex aur dhoka darling... Love sex aur dhokaa?

16)Getting your world web widely declared boyfriend/ girlfriends to like absolutely everything you post. We do understand that you are in love. Unsuspectingly, it transpired out of genuine liking for each other- en la totalidad. Really think you have to still specially like about every SM/ photo update by your lover? Is this some sort of reassurance? Get a room (wall?) the two of you!

17) Uploading pictures clicked in bathrooms of 5 star hotels. EPIC. Washbasins, tissue papers, etc make a scenic background O despairing one!

18) Family members living under the same roof communicating through FB. Lameness glorified. Sometimes siblings fight on FB SMs... maybe to look cute or something. And then random others put in their 'lolz' or 2 cents of advice. Why would you make such a joke of your existence and try so hard to look happy? (PS: Mom take note :| :P DONOT mock me on FB :|)

19) Typing long status messages with elongated spellings. "Goddddddddd.........haddddddd suchhhhhhhh ffffunnnnnnn in mattttthh classss yaaarrrrr!" :-| Dear disgrace to literacy, do you understand what an eye-sore your SM is? And basics, lets move to fundamentals- When you create 'stress' it has to be on the vowels not the consonants. Or are you an idiot, idiot?

20) The 'Candid' posers. You mean, you'd be just living a normal life and the cameras would catch you? Are you a celeb or something? Its very obvious, you have posed and requested/begged someone to click you whilst you project yourself as a nonchalant icon. Nice try.

And Finally, a special note to the 95% of those who are blocked off my notifications.
(a) The 'some people' taunts: Why do you think the little personalization space is for you to hurl indirect taunts at your enemies? 'Some people can stoop so low...god, just learned that today' ' will not be bothered by some people who are trying sooo hard to hurt me'. Well, some people can go suck an egg if they are coward enough in using a social networking site for avenging insults :)

(b)The nonsense sports-updates women. Let me take you to the bedrock of my frustration- Theres so much that goes into a 90 mins of football or the 20 overs of cricket or the straight sets in tennis- You ought to Respect the game. Stop mocking womankind by capital bull-shit like "Awww... Casillas is minnneee...okay?" No game is about hot men only. And Im not gay.
My parents had got me checked.






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People call those imperfections, but no, that's the good stuff. (-Sean, Good Will Hunting)