A 25 year old's Top 10 Commandments of Life

Dear Grandchildren,

Wait. Where are my reading glasses. *cough* *cough*. Yes. Here they are. *cough* *cough*. Ah. Look at my new Mac book Pro. Shipped in straight from America. This is my first blogpost using this new-machine. Dear me. It's nothing like how it was when I started this blog. Back then, I used to blog from my typewriter. The times they are a-*cough**cough*... uh..a-changin'...

And now that I turn 26 in a few days, I have seen enough of life my dear children. I transcend into the other side of the crisis. Popularly known as the wrong side. I am more of experience, less of learning. Hmm. But actually not. I still have to learn how to backspace in a Mac. Looks like, this entire life we learn, unlearn & relearn. The times they are a... indeed...a- *cough*...chang..*cough*... Arrrrghh Bronchitis.. someday thou shalt also suffer!

And as I grew up, I heard many people dispense their ground rules of life. Great men spoke great words. Big men spoke big words. Mom said somethings too. 

But my dear young generation, for you, here are MY very own Top 10 Commandments on Life!

1) Know What's Worth fighting For. And then fight for it. It may look impossible, and chances may seem bleak. But if it is worth the plunge, effing jump.

2) Choose Those People Wisely Who Can Leave a Vacuum in your Heart when they Leave. And then, don't let'em go. *Keyword: Wisely*

3) You Can't Ask God for Someone to be in your life, or Some Job in a particular MNC, or Some Outfit from that expensive brand store. Sorry, He ain’t your secretary. What you can ask for is abundance of love, an extravagant life, smiles & happiness, domestic peace, even fame maybe. Figure out "why" you really want what you want. And spare God the details.

4) Focus on your Domestic Life, and your professional life will stable around. Professional ambition is an endless saga, everyday you can work forever. But when you know you have to get back home to tuck your kids in bed, or you have to wake up at 6 to make your mom-in-law coffee, you'll find more direction & discipline. Set your priorities. What is your big picture? What is your small sacrifice? Do you know that yet?

5) Watch your Words. Don't underestimate the power of your brain. It is almost as sharp as your tongue. If you just think a little before you speak, you can make that pretty girl smile, get your boss to hike your salary, get someone else to do your laundry, and convince mom to that runaway Las Vegas trip.

Abhilasha Dafria's Theory of Mediocrity

6) Reject Mediocrity. It's that tempting parking spot in your life's journey to its destination. It's like this: You start small, move ahead, face struggles, drag on, the road is long, stoned, hurdled, tough.

And then you see this easy de-route. It looks alright, it looks like a wise shortcut, And you tempt yourself into it. Now you've reached mediocrity. You'll be welcomed by many like you there. Most of 'em will tell you this is the best anyone could get. And that's how you'll get engulfed into this delusion. If you are lucky, realization will hit. You’ll want to break through. Then you will have to go through ‘the shit curve’ that’ll make it so difficult for you to drag on. You'll be on your own and have to go back to the starting point. There ain’t no shortcuts. That is life.

7) It's All Temporary. Your joys, your sorrows, your success, You. So brag only so much, that it doesn't come back to haunt you. And if you're going through a rough patch, know the golden words, that This too Shall Pass. No matter how dark it seems right now, there is always a soothing light at the end of the tunnel. Unless, you're Princess Diana.

8) Don't Break a Heart. Honesty, Commitment, Loyalty, is the essence of your character. It is the reflection of your upbringing. The core of your value system. It is NOT an option. It is all that you are. So honour that promise you made. Because when you break a heart, you’re out-rightly ripping off someone’s trust, mental strength, emotional investment and everything fundamental. You're breaking a multiple folds of faith that keeps humans going. Hope binds us. Don't become the disruption point in that chain. Don't destroy somebody's reason to live.

9) Meditate, Isolate, Retrospect to Humble Down. Who are you? Nothing more than a small insignificant speck on the face of this earth. When you're gone, how many people will be really affected? What is that ratio compared to the total population of this world? Country? City? Heck, even the number of people you have interacted with till date? So what are you proud of, when all you've done is affected only a minuscule irrelevant percentage of your small little cocoon? Is that your “greatness”?

You can be proud of yourself if you have made peace with the fact that you are a bloody no one.

Success builds Confidence. With Confidence comes either Humility or Pride. Humility builds Character. Character builds Success….while Pride comes just before the Fall. So when you taste initial success, make that life-defining choice.

10) Finally, Make Your Own Rules. It's your life, no one can live it for ya. It is your journey, no one can walk it for ya. So make your decisions,  take your calls. Stand up for what you believe in, man... If you won't, who will?
You know, when you were born, someone up there collected some sand in an hourglass and turned it round. Even as you read this, there is a regulated trickle of sand from the top to the bottom, at the pace of every breath you take. And once the top bulb is empty, you're going to be called back. No excuses.You just have that much time here. We have all come to die. That's our inevitable destination.
And then, how do you think would it really feel... when you die with the knowledge... that you never... really lived?

I leave you *cough* *cough* with that thought.

Love and blessings,

Your soon-to-turn older Granny,

Abhilasha Dafria

PS: Okay huge shout-out to all those people who have messaged me on FB/ mailed me etc and appreciated my blog or questioned why I have stopped writing. Like my best friend Akanksha rightly put it, once you start getting paid for writing, you can’t really blog. So yeah! The journo in me got too busy rambling. But thank you people for all the lovely messages & encouragement. I really feel humbled to know that any part of my blog has inspired you or made you smile. Special mention to you, Ms. Ankita, was very humbled to read your message on my friend’s phone. I don’t know how my blog changed your life, but I’m so happy it did. I have not earned having fans yet, but calling yourself one was a very flattering to me. So, if anything, thank YOU J

This Too Shall Pass

When the skies grow darker and the sun no longer glows

Your heart sinks every second, you chill to your toes

Afraid what to do, wondering whom to ask

Hold yourself tight girl, for this too shall pass

Your head can’t answer what your heart needs to know

You still pose a hundred questions and just won’t let it go

But the future will unfold soon, to make this present- your past

Until then, stay strong girl, for this too shall pass

You can’t change your yesterday or jump into a stable tomorrow

You will have to see yourself through today, its joy and sorrow

But what you can change is, how you look at this moment’s glass

If you try to see it half-filled girl, this too shall pass

A stuck mind, a broken heart, a false promise, or a blatant lie

Time will reason it all, and answer your what, what not and why

So if you grip yourself now, across the dark shadows’ cast

You’ll see the sunlight coming, girl.. and this too.... shall pass...

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Crowd: Deshay bah-sah-ra! bah-sah-ra!... Bruce Wayne: What does that mean? ...
Prisoner: Rise. (- The Dark Knight Rises)

Because There Must Be Magic... Or it's not Special Enough

I’m certain there is something more to relationships than commitment, love or trust.
There has to be something magical about the relationship. The conversation in the silence and the proximity in the distance. Yeah, that’s got to be magic. I believe in magic. And I believe in love. And I also believe in the sublime synonymy of these two words.
It should be easy to fall in love. And maybe as difficult to honour it.
Because what love propels you to do is, unknowingly build on these layers of expectations from that one someone and create your own castle of dreams. A figment of your imagination, your idea of true love, your definition of that magic, your castle. And if somewhere, when there is a mismatch of expectations, and disparity in your respective definitions, the castle shall crumble. Ash to ash. Dust to dust. Fade to black.

Slowly, the illusion clears, your expectations are not met and you don’t know whom to blame.

Maybe there is room for dialogue. Maybe you could just lower your expectations. But doesn’t that defeat the purpose of being special? If everything could be negotiated with, bargained at and talked through, how would the relationship ever mature on the ubiquity of unspoken understandings? Where, then, is the magic?

Maybe the magic is in creating a castle on the same land of understanding. Maybe it is for us to lay the foundation of understanding in reality, before getting drifted away in the idealism of love.
And maybe... it is only how much you understand each other that determines how much you can expect...

Magic lies in those 'little things' you do, that more often than not, go unsaid...

iDrive: One for the records!

... So there was this one time, when we driving back from Philip Island to our Cranbourne home after having watched the Penguins parade and having fed the Kangaroos and Wallabies, and the good 3 hours journey started with M.Rafi to Kishore Kumar to hits of 80's, 90's to Evan di unna pethan to DK Bose and beyond.

Shuklaji ka camera. Let this one post be just for the records :-)




Aaj agar Shuklaji nahi hote- toh memories ke naam par dhool khaarahe hote hum sab desh waasi. Way to go Reedz! Shuklaji aage badhein- hum tumhaare saath hain (Idhar hi. Side main.) Rita Shukla zindabaad! Reedz for US President! This is John Connor Shukla and if you can read this, you are the Rita-istance... bhaag bhaag DK Bose DK Bose DK Bose..Bhaag bhaag DK Bosedk bhaag..bhaag bhaag DK Bose DK Bose DK Bose- RITA AAYI HAI!! *faints*






...do I love her, and is she my best friend or friggin' WHAT!? :D

Media et Me

This has to be a very random update, but I hope it merits the myriad of emotions I'm undergoing- despite Wenger's relentless efforts to make me want to stab myself in the stomach with the kitchen knife as hard as I can. Honestly, I have never been so gutted before a season as this. I sometimes see Arsenal turning into a Newcastle or worse. I am living under the mortal terror of seeing myself through this season... dreading every weekend :( Its like, omg, weekend hai. Arsenal ka match dekhna padega What the :-|

But good things find their way in, when football defeats every reason for me to be happy- and for that, my good lord, I am grateful. Ofcourse, when I received my visa for my Aussie trip- my worries lied with how sucky my last vivas were. This was my last German exam, and if there was anything I wanted then, it was pulling off a 'Gut' i.e 80% and above.
Two days before I left my friend smsed to congratulate me and she said only two in our class got a Gut, me being one with 81.5%. Happy I was, and how :)

What the Melbourne journey held for me- my first international jouney with my best friend Reedz...and 15 days with my best friends Shweta and Srini really honours a separate post. Which I will compose and upload soon, once im out of the jet lag :) But whilst I was there, on a random weekday after having dinner I decided to facebook a little, when I found myself tagged in a photo by the author of the national best-seller "Oops! I fell in love"

Curious, I checked, to see this:




Really, ‎...before I achieve my dream of being a published author- I see my name in print :) I wouldn't know what I've done to deserve this, but to have your name acknowledged in the friggin' sequel to a NATIONAL BESTSELLER, is a very big deal. Still can't stop smiling, and I hope and pray the book does really well, since it has my name in it :P Besides the fact that this continues to inspire me! :)


Now that I see myself in print- and since I've already seen myself in newspapers(read check) and radio (hear check) when I covered ManUtd vs Barca UCL Finals for mumbai live on 93.5 Red FM ...ofcourse! How can I forget this- So I was flying singapore to Melbourne, when I decided to fiddle with the e-media in the aircraft- and moved from watching Thor to e-learning section, where they taught languages. Just to find out, that the french e-learning bit was the goddamn one I had composed! :) so it was certainly a HIGH to hear my voice on the earphones of an international aircraft :)
And it really is time, I made it to TV (see- not yet check) :P
Until then, ofcourse, I can watch Shweta sizzling in her shorts and me dancing in, what Akanksha politely calls, my 'radium' denims :facepalm: , on my 3D Home-theatre and assume I made it to all modes of media :D






Oh but then again, The Dark Knight Rises and The Avengers is something the big-screen has to handle. So maybe I must wait. 300 's director is working on Superman. Life has so much to look forward to. More fame can wait. But not too long please, I like being cool :-)





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For those who fight for it, life has a flavor the sheltered will never know.(-Wiseman, Sucker Punch)

On Stranger Tides...

If only I could tell you why I feel this nervous,
As on stranger tides we sail;
Against the rough waves I will have to steer us,
Because maybe, you'll fail...

If only I could see you when I closed my eye,
And know all that I don't;
That you'd love me as much isn't living a lie,
Because maybe, you won't...

If only I could know who and where you really are,
So that I don't trespass too soon;
In the quest of reaching the farthest star,
Because maybe, you are on the dark side of the moon...

If only He could assure me I haven't sinned,
In still feeling that you and I share a bond;
As if you were my candle in the wind,
And, maybe, my only lotus in the pond...

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But then the morning comes, and we turn back into pumpkins, right? (-Celine, Before Sunrise)

Interview Season 2

In all fairness, the best bit about being a journalist, besides the 'coolness' quotient attached to it, is the fact that Young Turks allows me to meet these 'young' and 'cool-for-real' people and get to know them up-close-and-personal :P

So everytime I check in a new hotel or drive down to a new place, I make mental notes about what feedback I must ping Abbas Slatewala on my BBMessenger.

And everytime I see Harsh Snehanshu's book at the book-store opposite my classes, I smile to myself with pride in acknowledgement of all our conversations.

Its nice to know people like these, who in their own little way, inspire you to be on the other side of the line. To transcend from the interviewer to the interviewee.

God willing- that shall happen someday too :)