JBV MEETS OXFORD

This paraody has been written by me on the wonderful teachers of my JB Vachha High school, poking fun at their peculiarities...it is all done in good humour, with no offence meant to anyone and but obviously can be enjoyed by fellow vachhaites alone...this has already been circulating via e-mail so i thought i might as well put it up on my blog for this is one of those articles that has won me immense accolades, appreciation and made me famous...er..or is it infamous?? well,to care least,i know for one, this is my true masterpiece:)

Once jbv teachers went to oxford to attend an English lecture by prof.william shakespeare. He started wid a topic called ROMEO N JULIET.
At dis ms. sushma (SC quota) reacted: ROMEO N JULIET!!! Its pathetic! U know u should not talk abt romance in d class! I have a brother……

W.Shakespeare: but…..I…..thee…thou….thy….

Sushma: u know he’s so strict….im supposed to reach home each day by 8.30 pm OF d evening…….

Navre: (sushma India cha insult karnar…I’ve to react…) SHIT DOWN SUSHMA SHIT DOWN!

Sushma: he takes walks everyday AT 5 gardens…first from left to right….den right to left….

Vaidyanathan: ah! Inertia of direction……

Sushma: do u know d consequences? U r getting INTO my nerves now….

Gude :( I always knew I shudnt have befriended her….shes bcum a measure problem….)

Sood: look at gudes accessories. She always matches dem better dan I {luks heavenward n flaps her eyelashes} y her? Y not me?Y? Y? Y?

Navre: SHIT DOWN SUSHMA SHIT DOWN!

Shanti: navre can nvr hv hair like mine….n her gajras make her luk like phulvediya mai…ha ha ha…good joke shanti, good joke!

Vandana: hey shanti! I have hot gossip for u! I heard ms.bhumgara sleeps off in d class!!!!!!!

Shanti: kai mahantais tu?!?!?

Vandana: aguh kharas!

bhumgara: {wakes up wid a start}…repeat after me……peter n Helen….no……Romeo n Juliet….no…..peter n Romeo….no no…...{voice fades into snores}….zzzzzz……zzzzzz……..

Shanti: senior teacher! Ha ha ha…. good joke shanti, good joke!

Navre: SHIT DOWN SUSHMA SHIT DOWN!

sushma: my brother….he was born AT 19th of December of d same month as me….it was summer….dont ask me how….it was…..tats all I know…..

Vishwanathan: first she screws English now shes screwing geography…..aiyooooo…..y is she after my subjects haan?

Ramanathan: wat is going on here? I better cansaintrate on auther prablums….
1 ALLpendlible=50p.
Therefore, in 50rs. no. of ALLpendlibles=……….

Sushma:…..den on his first b’day….. He slapped me ….. bcos I was not born UNTIL dat time……so…..

Chothia : William hasn’t even noticed me….I cant believe my smile didn’t hypnotize him….I better grab his attention soon…..{moves around d class wid a wooden scale n shouts}….YOU JUNGLEEEEEESSSSSSS….LISTEN TO MR. WILLIAM….. YOU JUNGLEEEEEESSSSSSS……….

Makoogina: W.Shakespeare may speak all d good English n all tat….but look at his dressing sense! I mean….you can put a person in couture but you can never put couture in tat person…..

Navre: SHIT DOWN SUSHMA SHIT DOWN!

Sushma: once I reached home at 8.31 pm ….tat time I was in 3rd STD…..cos I was late FROM 1 min….. N he slapped me…

Vaidyanathan: ah! Newton’s third law of motion….to every action ders an equal n opposite reaction………

Benny: why is sushma telling everything abt her family….shes such a S-N-I-T-C-Hech

Rabadi: its not “Hech” its “aicH”…….

Engineer: ae zarine…..aiyan su thai che?

Khariwala: chalo chalo chalo….lets begin wid Romeo….chalo chalo chalo

Sushma:….n he didn’t KNEW u’ll teach dis…… n he will slap me…

Navre: SHIT DOWN SUSHMA SHIT DOWN!

W.Shakespeare:{frustrated} SHE ALREADY SHAT DOWN!

Rabadi: its not SHAT DOWN its SAT DOWN

W.Shakespeare: I KNOW DAMN IT! IM WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE!

Rabadi: its not Shakespeare its Shakespeare….

At dis ws gave a last look to d class which looked like dis:
Rabadi: Shakespeare…..yr tongue shud tuch d palette…sha..kes…sp…

Makoogina: rabadi may speak all d good English n all tat….but look at her dressing sense!I mean….you can put a person in couture but you can never put couture in tat
person…..

Engineer: ae zarine manaie kay nai…..

Khariwala:…. chalo chalo chalo……

Ramanthan: ……let d total no. of ALLpendlibles be x……

Chothia: u jungleeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssss…………..

Shanti: …ha ha ha…good joke shanti, good joke!

Vandana: …. dey can hv all Bed n Med degrees…but no1 can gossip like I can……..

Vishwanathan: aiyo aiyo Rama…hogaya hungama………

Sood: nobody can bat eyelashes like I can at such high velocity…..

Vaidynathan: velocity =distance/time………

Benny:……jaaaadooooo….jaaaaadoooooo……….

Bhumgara: Romeo n Helen…..no peter n Juliet…..zzzzzzz

Navre: ganpati bapa moriya! Managal murti moriya!

Sushma:…I was born at 8.32 pm….my brother slapped me……n d doctor also…..

After dis, it had become just too much to take so W.Shakespeare ran out of d class nvr returning to oxford again. Many leading journalists, news channels n royal families tried to inquire….but like his famous saying goes….TO TELL OR NOT TO TELL
IS THE QUESTION!