If God gave the Cat, would He get THE CALL??

If God gave the Cat, would He get THE CALL??
this was the eternal question that struck me as my car neared the Cat centre on 18th of november'07..the streets were flooded with students....saare taare zameen par...seeing such an enormous number of people, my heart started to pound faster...i suddenly realised the gravity of the situation...i always knew this could be THE turning point of my career and i was always in terms with its significance but i never thought such a vast number of students would also feel the same. they were all classes of ppl,viz.,

The engineering students: if we need 40 out of 100 to pass how many out of 75?

The Bcom graduates:and although they never clear the VA and DI cut off too, all they say by way of excuse is--"im not going to make it...lost touch of maths in the last 5 years...not my fault...no...sorry.."

The BA/BMM/BMS babes: heyyyy girlss....i wore my pink "kitty" slippers 'cos you know its like this whole "cat" exam??...so i thot it'd like be my good charm thingy??

The IITinas:1st: myself Iyer.Venkatesh Iyer.IIT powai batch 2007.room no 611
2nd: im Bansal. Gaurav Bansal.room no 612.have we met before?

The family business guys: im here for experience sake...who wants to crack this anyway?papanu bussiness karvanoo, carrom ramvanu...majani life!!

The family girls: even if i get in, i'll get married by next year...so told dad its ok, i'll leave the course midway!

The rocker guys:u sure dude, these niggas wont chk us for weed yea?

The work-ex uncles: For the last time you watchman!! its not my son!its ME who will take this exam!!

when i saw such a diverse set of His creation all coming together to take ONE exam, i not only learnt its weightage in a students life but also pondered if the maker Himself could crack it...

i wasnt answered, but questioned myself...yes,as the minutes slipped by the cat paper was in my hand...i put my pencil to paper but my coolness just kept slipping by...i kept thinking about the cutthroat competition and the rat race...

brain: quadratic equations...tats mickey mouse...solve tat
me: yea..tats mickey mouse for every1...every1 will solve tat so how wil i get the higher percentile?
brain: god dammit!chuck tat!options..substitute the options
me:options...if not iim then wat option do i have? lesse...spjain..hmm...
brain: u freak!! go solve english!metaphors...metaphors are like cakewalk for you
me: actually tats a similie...you used "like"
brain: arghh...why are u losing it?ok ok try di..
me: i did di?i-d-i-d-d-i..heyy tats jus 2 letters and 3 words!bt wait tats english! and im doing di!bt y?its wasting time?time is math!or is it relative?so why are dese questions objective!wait...er...ok stfu!abhilahsa...quite obviously yr brains conked off...take a breather and get back to math..
brain:zzzz...yawn...eh...er...hello??wats the time??

"last 30 mins" said the invigilator...and i tried to get my senses back but what could mere 30 sane minutes do? It was a lost battle but nonetheless, an experienced gained.a lesson learnt.

CAT IS THE TEST OF CHARACTER.

my only piece of advice to fellow cat takers is, it may seem to you that a cat centre is like the 300-movie battle field...but let me tell you this,its not.if you have sincerely studied then you've conquered the battle anyway.cat is meant for those 5000 who have studied and maintained their sangfroid all along.These could belong to any1 of the aforementioned categories but are calm, collected and composed.most of the loud-crowd that intimidates you are the ones who are intimidated themselves.the real cat-crackers are the ones who enter the premises 10mins before the exam, solve the paper and leave the premises within 10 mins after the exam.
It is important to be able to reproduce all that one has learnt through the year by not losing their equanimity in the quagmire of competition and crisis...the point remains that THE CAT is afterall just another exam...if Paulo Coehlo was got to comment he'd say "when you take an exam with all your heart, the whole universe conspires to help you crack it"
in a nutshell,

CAT=practising before exam+controlling emotions during exam

and my eternal question was hence answered in the words of Green Day, "its not a question but a lesson learned in time... its something unpredictable, but in the end its right...I HOPE YOU HAVE THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE"

*strums guitar*

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Welcome CAT 2008, I've been expecting you :)

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i have to faces
i live two lives
outside a smile surfaces
inside a heart cries

i try to tell
but nobody seems to hear
i cry for help
but nobody seems so near

The battle will start
Im falling apart
I pity my plight
in this mortal fight


Im still running the race
tryin to keep up the pace
everyone says "she didnt survive"
I stop n stare in their eyes
as if to say,
"u cant see me?

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The ending is nearer than you think, and it is already written. All we have left to choose is the correct moment to begin...

-V for Vendetta

Are You Yin enough??

At the airport last month, i decided to purchase a magazine in order to kill time in the waiting room....when i almost finalised what to buy, a chick of my age came from nowhere and picked up two beauty magazines--femina n fashion bloom.The look she gave me seeing the Autocar magazine in my hand induced me to write this blog.

So this ones to all my female folks who are nonchalant, laid-back and give a damn about matching their sneekers with their hairpins.Its for those who bitch abt women wearing pink nail-polish which is so freaking girly, forgetting the fact that bitching itself is "being girly" in its superlative form.

Ladies and Ladies!

Think back to the last time you really felt feminine.Chances are you were dressed to the nines for a special event.Hair,nails and flairs all perfectly in place.A dab of floral perfume, wearing lacy outfits, a long relaxing bath--these are little things that makes us feel a touch more feminine.But in the Yang world today, i ask myself, is the Yin in me dying out? i mean lets see,heres a small self-introspection i have done...you do one too, where every yang behaviour gets a "-" and yin gets a "+":
1)I have guy friends to girl friends in the ratio of 4:1 (-)

2)I follow soccer, cricket,formula 1 (-)

3)My fav movies include : Rocky, V for vendetta, 300, Fast n Furious (-)

4)I love playing the guitar but hate cutting my nails for it! (nullified)

5)I love playing tennis but hate getting tanned! (nullified)

6)I love driving and love talking abt engines in d horsepower language with my friends more!(-)

7)I love hogging but i hate cooking! (-)

8)I always keep track of the latest designs at nirvana and asmi (+)

9)I seldom doll up but a dash of kohl in the eyes and some citrus gloss are mandatory(+)

10)I love head banging on loud rock music (-)

11)I love dancing on rajasthani music...with that ghoohghat n stuff! :P (+)

12)I'm always fishing for compliments!! (+++) :P

13)I go that extra mile to keep my feet clean n pretty!(N/A...thats just hygiene!)

As we can see here, the no. of yangs are much more than the no. of yins!This realisation made me infuse and reinstill the female back in myself.So all those who think that they are losing their femininity heres my TOP 5 tips on things that give you the ultimate feminine-feeling!!

1)GHOON-GHOON-GHOONGROO: How can you be a girl and not have tried dancing with ghoongroo?? I mean those little metal bells cling-clang to give you the biggest female high!Incase you think you need kathak/bharatnatiyaam classes to do so...go ahead do it!! its all worth the feeling!Tie a Ghoongroo to your purse or buy yourself a waislet, tie a small ghungroo to your arm or wear as an anklet!Dont worry, the "chan-chan" doesnt make you look like a cow!and the
idea is to atleast NOT look like a bull!!

2)HUE ON LIPS AND HIGH ON HEELS: It may sound weird, but carrying off lipstick is a real womanly affair!For the first few times you wear it, you'll feel that anyone who looks at you (because you wr right in front of him) is beacuse the lipstick makes you look funny!! Then again, when you get out of being self-conscious, you realise that you have eaten up all the lipstick off your lips way before you reached the party venue!If you wear gloss all the time dont think
that one fine morning you'll wear lipstick and it will all be fine...cos it wont!Lipstick is a task...and a greater task is wearing Stillittoes!You should try walking with high heels atleast once a week...the last time i tried that i sprained my ankle :( but really,i have an excuse of being 5.7" tall! If you dont, go high on your heels now girlie!

3)FIT ME WELL:Baggy cargos? Kaka' and Gallas loose T's? Torn and faded denims? Long kurtis?? out of the wardrobe you!! bring in the perfect-fits.When you wear something that is perfectly fitting you will automatically quit the laid-back attitude you had and be more particular abt the way you walk and so on.skirts/tank tops/spaghettis...they all make you conscious abt your posture and gait.Initially you will be a bit self-conscious in order to avoid ugly peekaboos but you will eventually get the drift!

4)GO TRADITIONAL: India is a land of rich culture and heritage.Even in the ancient years,women have always been beauty-personified.Whether its a rose-water and multani mitti face-pack or a turmeric one, whether its a bandhni dress or a jardoshi one, whether its kaajal in place of the l'oreal eye-liner or ethnic bangles in place of trendy bracelets....once a while, do them all!Apply mehendi on your hands and wear your hair in a braid.Make it a habit to wear an indian outfit on a suitable occassion.Grab that rare chance.Wear a salwar kameez to the temple.Try covering your head with the dupatta when entering the temple and you'll realsie that the dupatta slips off every second whereas our small town friends can hold it on for the entire day!!

5)GENTLE PROD: Wake ms.yin up!Tell yourself you are a woman and you ought to behave like one...everything you do, do it with delicacy and grace...the way your hands move when you talk, the way you put the lock of hair behind your ears, the way you laugh, the way you bat your eyelashes(optional), the way you greet someone...everything should be with precision.Nothing should be rough.It should have those perfect lines and clarity...thats the essence of being a
woman.Master that art by perpetually reminding youself that You are a woman...and a woman of style!

Theres this huge misconception that being girly is being dumb.Purple is just a darker shade of pink....You can always be beautiful, delicate and feminine with your grey cells intact!Every woman beholds Beauty.In order to equal the male race we should not lose our female side.Its beautiful being a woman.Its beautiful being beautiful.Why let that beauty go?? Hold that woman in you.When God made a wo-man he just added some more qualities to a man.So be a toughie and not a roughie.Feel the essence of being beautiful.Dont worry even if you follow the above 5 pointers, you wont be trading your brains for it.You will have an added advantage of being competent and ladylike.So be Bold.Be brainy.Be beautiful.Go crack the CAT!and when you do, tell me how!! :D

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Merovingian: Lipstick? Lipstick? What craziness you are talking about woman, there is no lipstick.

-The Matrix Reloaded

dear irrational reader: close the doors!!

Okay, this is a self-analysis test that will help one determine whether you are really capable of closing the Other Options in life to maintain focus on that one Ultimate goal of your life...
This is an important incident of Dr.Ariely's book "Predictably Irrational" :

The next time you’re juggling options — which friend to see, which house to buy, which career to pursue — try asking yourself this question: What would Xiang Yu do?
Xiang Yu was a Chinese general in the third century B.C. who took his troops across the Yangtze River into enemy territory and performed an experiment in decision making. He crushed his troops’ cooking pots and burned their ships.

He explained this was to focus them on moving forward — a motivational speech that was not appreciated by many of the soldiers watching their retreat option go up in flames. But General Xiang Yu would be vindicated, both on the battlefield and in the annals of social science research...

so go ahead and take the test!
http://www.predictablyirrational.com/?page_id=117

22nd August 2007---I met an angel on earth.

"Nirvana no...Creed no...Metallica no...no...no!! You don’t get the point do u??" i asked my best frnd in sheer distress!! i have a guitar presentation on the 29th...i gotta play a song tat the crowd will relate to. and unless i don’t relate to the song myself, how in the world am i gonna make them feel it???"", i yelled as i took a huge scoop of the Bavarian ice-cream.

The sunny katyal- my THE best frnd.he n i have never agreed upon the same thing. We have a history of disharmony. The only one damn thing we share in common is the liking for Baskin robins’ bavarian flavor ice-cream. He loves it cos...he thinks its a source of girl-impressing tonic...and i love it for my own philosophical ideologies...

"The yin-yang...the bavarian...you know WHY i like dis so much?? It epitomizes the yin yang...i like the way the sweet vanilla and bitter chocolate are blended together...it depicts the contrast. happiness from sad events... good from bad... like a lotus in the pond... a diamond on a dark velvet cloth...a rose with its thorns...a night sky with its stars...its brilliant. How would we ever know the worth of angels if it weren't for the demons around?? Isn’t it sunny?? Er...SUNNNY???"
The demon was snoring apparently. this man i tell you....most never believed we could be best friends. We still dont.sunny is the best suitable example of a ying-yang. We often meet people in life as acquaintances...build a rapport...go through good times. then bad times...and finally declare these acquaintances as friends....with sunny...the case was different. .we befriended each other when i was going through what i call THE WORST TIME of my life...my social life was a disaster...i had no friends...i was losing my family's love...my academic performance sped on a downward slope. I was emotionally shaken and spiritually weak...everything then seemed perfectly imperfect...like life would never be beautiful again...like I'll never be who i always wanted to be in life...just when i thought im losing myself, i gained a best friend.

“Ok...ok..for the last time alright..i don’t see things the way you do. I mean...i always saw this as an ice-cream...i love it. its my favorite flavor...icecreams,chocolates,milkshakes...these are nice things..i cant see things so deeply...the maximum i can see t is..er...ice-cream!!”

"You plain and simple suck" i said as i banged his brand new santro door and walked to a nearby auto...he doesn’t suck...he rocks...hes my the best frnd...my pride and the worlds envy..Ppl often tried to cheapen our friendship. They hooked us up...they fail to understand our platonic love...they- the ppl...the society...what is this society? How many times have i gone against the society?? How many times have i been a rebel without cause?? Haven’t i always taken their rules as a way of life? Have i ever questioned their existence? Have i ever challenged their authencity? Haven’t i been obedient enough to live in it their way? Then why did this society outcast me? Why did it abandon me in my bad days? Why didn’t it forgive me for my mistakes instead of punishing me? I have made mistakes, but i haven’t committed sins...I have never repeated any mistake. I learnt from it. Thanked it for the teacher it has been and moved on...

not exactly...i might have moved on into the present but with the baggage called PAST...no one can forget the past...its so bloody clichéd to say that one should live in the present...what is my present?? Its just an outcome of my past...i wanted to be an automobile engineer...i wanted to deal with technicality...i wanted geeky friends...friends who had a focus in life. Who had deadlines to meet...who had no time for mid-week parties, melodramatic serials and Monday morning gossips...not even for sins.
I never had such friends. I dealt with people who fooled around from morning till they fucked at night...air-heads who got laid at 18...and married at 20...sleazy men who thought sleeping around was a sign of manhood...and hypocritical women who raised a finger on other women's character while doing the same...I dealt with the most characterless people for five long years...i have never been a part of this sleaze...but a target nonetheless...I have stood my grounds, raised my voice and lived through the constant conflict of being a self made entity...in this constant endeavor to build my own conscience, i have had a series of wasted academic years...I never wanted to be just another commerce graduate...this has left an amount of bitterness in my heart...but im glad I can still come back home with my bitter heart and salty eyes...

"Im home!" i announced at the passage as I flung my bag on the sofa... "So did u get the song?” my mom interrogated...my mom-Dr.Asha Dafria, PhD-Psychology, omg! i wish i could be half as intelligent as her...i hate her for being so selfless and brilliant shes The Woman in a mans world...she can gauge me so well...my source of strength. my link to the family...i annoy her all the time. I wish i could show her what she means to me. I so wish i did...” no i didn’t. Now don’t bother me.wen i do I’ll tell o.k.?"....ok! Ok! i know tat was rude...again...i think i have a problem in my..er...knees mebbe...sigh!

"WATS with u and misbehaving"
"Nothing"
"Why do u misbehave?"
"Why do you question?"
"Why can’t you answer?"
"Why can’t i misbehave?"
"Did that make sense?"
"No"
"Im not joking"
"Im not laughing"
*straight face*...we broke in guffaws...that’s my dad...a highly educated, super classy, well-composed gentleman...we have never had a sane conversation...which only proves to me how much he loves his daughter....i would have never felt the celestial bond i share with my family hadn’t it been for the circumstantial social cut-off i had made....the yin yang shines again....

"Ok... still haven’t finalized my song...I’ll ask sir to help me out...and my going now...so bye", took the cars keys and moved out.
Destination: fine arts.10mins from home...but with himesh reshamiya on the radio, 10 mins seemed an eternity...i need a song...i need a song...something not whimsical or fanciful...something real...something real...something....something....CRASH!@$BANG@^%EEEKS!!^*BOOM!!W-T-F!!
(......TO BE CONTINUED)
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if u have read it till here...chances are you want to know wat hppnd next...will come up with the main drama soon...till den drop a comment...and yes this is a true-life story....22nd august 2007...i meant an angelon earth... :)

To my Dearest Diary (on my 20th birthday @ midnight)

This is an extract from my personal diary written by me when i had just turned 20... This para is so dear to me,and the moment so precious, that it makes the 2006 diary one of my most treasured posessions :)
Dearest Diary, Study Room, 24:00
I have learnt so much through the years. For so long, I held tightly to the kind of person I thought I ought to be. As I grew older, I managed to loosen my grasp on trying to be perfect in every way. I realised that it is more important to be human than to be perfect. And when I opened my hands to find the kind of person I have become, I realized that I am better than perfect because I am real.
Its a cold november night. The wind has brought me back myself. Its been 20 long years. And its my birthday today. So im gonna go ahead and celebrate the person I am, cos I know, that those who love me will be celebrating too....

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That cold black cloud is comin' down.... Feels like I'm knockin' on heaven's door..

ARSENAL v/s MANCHESTER UNITED.--off the field!!

TO ALL FOOT FREAKS, The heart beats faster.I feel the rush.I perspire and pray.I predict and prepare.I can feel the pleasure and the pain as the leather ball gets hit, time and again, sometimes in the direction i want, and sometimes the other.
The two giants of English football, Manchester United and Arsenal,curse, clash and confront...as the world wakes up for what has been termed as 'WAR'. At stake are not only the points but also pride and honour.
The "War of Words" between Alex Ferguson and Arsene Wenger has become a tradition in English football. The bitter, the better??
Before another huge clash I would like to amuse you all by quoting some of the previous confrontations between these two managers.
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Wenger, 3 April 1997:
"It's wrong the league programme is extended so Man Utd can rest up and win everything."
Ferguson's reply, 5 April 1997:
"He's a novice and should keep his opinions to Japanese football."
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Ferguson after Arsenal's 2002 double-winning season:
" They are scrappers who rely on belligerence - we are the better team."
Wenger's reply:
" Everyone thinks they have the prettiest wife at home."
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Wenger, 28 Sep 2002:
" I am still hopeful we can go through the season unbeaten."
Ferguson, April 2003 with United top of the league:
" I'm sure they would love to turn the clock back six months - it might come back to haunt them."
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And one of the best ones:
Ferguson claimed the behaviour of the Arsenal players at the end of a season's Old Trafford game was "the worst thing I've seen in this sport" and that they "got off scot-free".
Wenger hit back by telling Ferguson to "calm down" and added "maybe it would have better if you had put us against the wall and shot us".
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And so it continues.........the fight of the foot, the battle for the ball, the war of the words and the survival of the fittest.

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"You fools! your souls will be mine"
"I dont think so"
-Mortal Kombat