The Ant Can't

once upon a time...in a land far far away...there was a grass hopper and an ant....
it was summer so the ant worked through out the day storing food while the grass hopper just fooled around...
the ant worked hard and felt envious of the grasshopper who would only arse around partying and getting laid every night...
"suddenly" one day, it was winter....
the ant was all prepared....with the food...and warm clothes...while the grasshopper dint know wat to do....
Incidently, the ant was very lonely :D
so the ant hooked up with the grasshopper and the ant got sex while the grasshopper got warm clothes and a place to live in...

Moral of the Story: Marijuana is injurious to blogging.




Courtesy: story: a high gooner, climax: Nirvana , Images: Vacas, Moral of the story: ME :D

The Thanks..

When I give it my all, but theres no victroy
I stumble, i fall, i dont succeed
I dont get what i deserve, nor what i need
I become what i cant be...

Hope gives way, i lose the race
Gone another day, gone my grit my grace
Reality checks in, dreams replace
I become what i cant be...

And Then you shine like golden glaze
Light my path through this maze
And one day i'll repay, make you proud.... you'll see :)

I try enough to not lose hope
It seems tough but i try to cope
But when i see the end, i just let it go
I become what i cant be...

And Then you shine like golden glaze
Light my path through this maze
And one day i'll repay, make you proud.... you'll see :)


Twenty-two years of being Abhilasha Dafria...I turn back and smile at all that i have achieved, lost, achieved and lost...If theres anything more important than rerunning the key moments of life till date, is showing gratitude.To those who made this life worthwhile.To those who still make it.To those who walked in.To those who stayed.
To foes who, enkindled enough revenge in me to channelise this feeling in a healthy way.I raised my bar to put you down.Thanks.
Thanks to friends.
the fights, laughs, gossips, meaningful chats, meaningless phonecalls, soccer talks, late evening walks, dancing the night away, headbanging on long drives, guitaring and forming our own band, excitement fading off within a week,"kuch interesting karte hain" profound ideas,"im so fucking dead" consequences, laughing when in trouble, crying when happy, happy hugs, comforting hugs, gay-hugs :P, helping set them up, blaming their partners for breakups, bitching about others, abusing these "others" we dont even know,latest crushes, "Guess what?" text messaging, "balance low hai" missedcalls...joining wasted hobby classes, telling parents how contructive these classes are, convincing interviewers how impressive it makes our resume, warning not to laugh during vivas, photocopying notes, leaking university papers, creating own papers and circulating them in name of leaking :P, "yaar mereliye pray kar plz" requests, "proxy mar" orders, sharing nailpaints, patiently waiting outside the trial room,coffee shops, impatiently awaiting bday "surprises",movies-hits and flops, pen drives, long long drives, "brb"s, ">:D<"s, unexpected compliments, being THE critque, setting the alarm to just wake them up,"abbe tera exam hai, uth!" wise-words, "screw it man, i dont care" declarative statements,creating chaos, lying on the terrace, gazing at the moon, discussing philosophical issues, dreams unlimited, feeling useless, yet accompanied...

Thanks.

THE Sunny Katyal-- for being the best of best friends.

Tanvi Verma-- for taking time outta her busy MBBS schedule and hearing me out, like a true bestfriend, till 4.30 am in the morning.Her roomies hate me for this, but thanks for telling me what to do when Im stuck-up.

Rita (reedz) --- for being rock steady supporter and bestfriend...and an everyday character in my last 5 years..your last bday card, i still hold dear to me :)

Jinal(jelly)---for being my daily reminder of all the good things in life

Gaurav (gogo/bhogs)--- for being my favourite!for calling me "daffy duck" ( i like!).. :D for being my partner in crime, in all unpalatable activities, and nonsense talking...thanks for accompanying me regularly to siddhivinayak. God will forgive us. I know :P

Rohan(ronny)--- for being highly useless and entertaining... for being driver to most memorable drives... for being an inevitable character of my blog and my life (you can be hated but not avoided!) thanks for all the fun, fights and fast cars :D

Zubin-- for being my favorite overseas friend :P... thanks for being a patient listener, a humourous blogger, an intelligent being ( you fucking topped mumbai university in hsc :O!!), and for being online, always :|

Karan-- for being a handsome hunk (i get to make women jealous :P), a sensible conversationalist, for confiding in me and taking my words seriously, for just being there and for lending me sabira merchants book :P

Megha(meggy)--for being a complete sweetheart, highly helpful, for living in J&K !!(whoa!:O) and mainly for being my reason to sign in gchat every night :D

Tousif--- for getting your leg pulled (dont ask what that means :|) for searching google frantically the meaning of "ttyl", "aing?", "whoa", "haila!", "omg" and alikes...for being geniune and nice... we will be famous soon, u know why, u know how :)

Gaurav(Juwe)-- for being my only soccer+guitar+hollywood frnd...thanks for sharing common interests, at that, you being a man-utd fan is excused... for bhogale jokes, for bhogale-is-gay jokes, for "lmao@bhogale" happiness.

Shoo-weta-- for " hi Abby". its "aby" :|.. for being sweet, nice..and for being friends forever :) (also for taking ronny's case)

Kartik-- for being my yo-yo frnd... for being the king of one-liners... for patiently putting up with my gibberish talks :P

Naresh (kudva)--- for lifestyle-changing status msgs... :|

Amit--- for chacha jokes...lololololol...for poking fun at everyone else, especially *cough**cough*...for fwding chat logs and making gmail more useful :D

Vidya--- for making chhedanagar more of a "neighbourhood"...for making me animal friendly :P...for fun and frolic AND for sandy! :D

Satish: for all the help whenevr needed...and for the guitar gyaan :D

Krishnan(KV)-- for Bengay!! lol! for once in 15 days international phonecall... for making me ":D" all the time..

Karishma(kari)--- for making nostalgia woth it :)

many others i thank, everyone on my orkut/facebook/messenger list for "being there" :P

The others-- for the attention. i love it really :P

Arun sir-- for meenaxi mam :) for playing morpheus to the neo in me and for making mathematics fun (my neighbour got a new car with the no. 5040 and i said:Whoa! thats 7!(seven factorial) :O my neighbours are still in state of shock)

teachers in school, mrs. vaidyanathan, mrs. makujina, others in school...thanks for being a part of the best days of my life..

Makers of good Hollywood flicks, thank you for keeping me entertained and seldom disappointed. i have developed a new hobby of posing infornt of the movie poster and getting clicked as also, collecting movie tickets :)

Authors of good novels, thank you for keeping me intrigued. although i have a good list of best friends,books will always remain my sensible best friends.

My tennis coach, guitar sir, yoga mam for the partiality :P i like being your favourite!

Arsenal--for teaching me that ppl love you for who you are, not for what you achieve..

Cousins/relatives-- for pampering me no end..

ME-- for being my bestfriend in solitude

Mom-dad for reasons i cant list...

My brother Abhishek for being the best child to my parents...(it takes load off my shoulders :P)... for being a role model...a constant source of inspiration and the reason i want to be..

GOD. for it all

Everyone for everything

YOU. for reading my blog :)


It may seem that turning 22 is like winning an oscar for me :P but all i want to say is, one day when i really do, i will remember you all and i know you;ll be proud of me....:)


And Then you shine like golden glaze
Light my path through this maze
And one day i'll repay, make you proud.... you'll see :)

Would You?

Would you stand,
by my side,
and hold my hand
through this fight?

would you push me behind you?
as i peep over your shoulder,
would you let me clench your arm,
as this night keeps getting colder?

would you be my saviour, baby?
my hero ever since?
where my strength gets over,
would your love, just begin?

would you settle these treasons,
punish them for what they've done,
and not ask me for reasons,
many, or maybe none?

would you laugh whens its over?
and not scold me for being wrong,
would you take me in your arms then,
and promise me they are gone?

would you be my saviour, baby?
my hero ever since?
where my strength gets over,
would your love, just begin?









--------------------------------------------------------------
I can be you hero baby...I can kiss away the pain...I will stand by you forever...You can take my breath away...-(Enrique Iglesias)

GO GUNNERS!!

so when Tot equalised Arsenal's 4-2 lead few days ago, i, infuriated and justified, got up from the assuring comfort of my huge maroon leather sofa and headed off straight to my room...after the hull city defeat, this was
the second time i cried this season.. which happens to be a grave issue, 'cos unlike most other girls, I don't cry too often...but, this sure was serious...i knew the repercussions...how must i revert to the fusillade of messages by non-gunners poking fun at me?? the "Oh-Your-Arsenal" derogatory remarks?? so I made a rather declarative statement-- i cant support this team no more!

*pause*

not support arsenal? then do what?? start supporting Tottenham? or bet on the winning horse like most wanna-be muppets do?? Am i not a One-Club-Woman?

so the quintessential question here is : Why am i a gunner??
the omnipresent answer to this is: Because i am ME.

i support my club, irrespective of the stream of disappointments in the last 3 yrs. i support my club, inspite of coming so close to a title and totally losing the plot in the last month.i support my club, whether it loses to hull city or draws to Fenerbahce or whoever because this very club defines ME.

how can i question their perfection when neither am i perfect? how can i call Wenger a freak and Clichy unforgiven and Fabregas amateur? hasn't this club given me abounding moments of pride? with no latest-titles-to-flaunt aren't we still considered (arguably) the best soccer club? so why must one or for that matter a thousand failures make you doubt the potential of your team?

are we here for whoa-wesome football? Cos i certainly am not. Its all hunky dory to be a united fan but if it was all abt rooting for the best club, derby county would have had no fans.Arsenal hasn't had any notable success for the maximum time among the top 4 clubs, so if you think we here are glory hunters you've verily lost your marbles.

football is not abt the game.It never was.It goes far beyond the parameters of the laid rules and transcends into the horizon of sentiments when you don't "watch" the game but start "feeling" it with all the ardor you could muster.its abt the emotions at stake.the pride,the dignity,the attachment involved.You come to this point in life, when you don't follow football as your passion, but religion.

I LOVE ARSENAL. Big words would trivialise the truth in the said statement.
i love my club because i relate to it. i surely am disappointed. I'm sure in this 21 yrs of life i too have disappointed many. and i know how it feels.but when I'm down and beat, a luminous fire in me keeps burning...and my loved ones, those who believe in me,oil this fire...they tell me to rise, like the gush of breeze that eventually turns into a colossal cyclone--
unstoppable,fearless,indefatigable,triumphant.


I'll oil this fire in arsenal and the gunner spirit will live on, till they are all beaten.Gone without a trace.Ash to ash, dust to dust, fade to black....

fine, we are off-form.we are, at wat they say, "level zero". now when they play man-utd, chelsea, or the lately-infused-blood-with-enthusiasm scousers, my heart is not going to sink.and fine guys,take away the title,take as many as you can. fine you win, we lose...go do your dirty dancing..get drunk by the bay and enjoy the northern lights...but please, don't tell us what to do..we'll help ourselves...kindly shut your gobs and bother more about your own clubs.

We don't need no education.

Roles will reverse mate...oh!if you have been hearing this for the last 3 seasons,then fear; 'cos NOW we are 3 yrs closer to it and look at me, I'm still smiling! because i know, devoid of expectations, potential refuelled, rifles reloaded, meticulous manager and rocksteady backup of true fans... the gunners will rise,rise to victory,surpassing benchmarks, overstepping pedestals, setting new standards....and when they do, this world will watch
as we paint these multitudinous seas incarnadine with the gore of our enemies...

HAIL ARSENAL.MY LOVE YOU REMAIN.



Do they, do they, remember lessons taught in preschool?
Hmm..I think, I think---> never talk to strangers.
No you fuckwit!! temme the first golden rule!
I know, I know---->never underestimate gunners.

Till heaven again rains on us...

There must be reasons
why i don't see you laugh no more
those funny mischiefs

that silly smile of yours

And if you ask me
I'm losing old memories of you
this person i now meet
is not that friend i met before

but together we'll face this day, till heaven again rains on us.... 

Now when the sun shines
remember all the good times
remember all the fun smiles
forget all the pain
and let the sunlight
dry the tears of last night
I'm right here, by your side
waiting for the rain...
I'm waiting for the rain...

to pour down,
and wash out all memories of her
and don't frown,
she too will know your worth

the game's not over,
I'll never let you lose
go bet another round,
now its one versus two

and together we'll face this day, till heaven again rains on us....

now when the sun shines
remember all the good times
remember all the fun smiles
forget all the pain
and let the sunlight
dry the tears of last night
I'm right here, by your side
waiting for the rain...
I'm waiting for the rain...

with you, till heaven again rains on us...

till heaven again rains....

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh I get by with a little help from my friends...mmm i'm gonna try with a little help from my friends....(-The Beatles)

:D

At my Spanish class last week a newly-made frnd innocently asked me "Aby, tera kabhie kisike saath jhagda hua hai??"

I laughed incessantly for 30 mins.

then put my hand on her shoulder and said,"nahi... kabhie nahi..."

If you know who I am, you too will get the joke :D

"I Make Friends Fast. Enemies Faster." : Abhilasha Dafria-- nominated for best original score of the century.

One strange phone call....

25 th September, 2005
9.30 am
me sleeping.
cellphone rings

i somehow grab the phone beside the bed
it shows Private number calling...

Me: uh..huh... huhllo?

X: hey! is that abhilasha?

Me: who's this??

X: Abhilasha Dafria?

me:(irritated) do i know you??

X: No, you don't know me.. but..

Me: (interrupts) well, if i don't know you, then i don't want to....goodbye....(hangs up)
(rearranges the scattered cushions and blanket grumbling)...damn these commerce romeos...neend kharab kardi...the extent they'll go to for a girls attention... bloody commerce leke toh zindagi barbaad hogayi meri...

9.40 am
phone rings again...
private number calling...
me: cuts call...
calls again..
me: puts call on silent..
call missed.
calls again
me: FED UP.
receives the call

me: (angrily) HULLO!

X: (heavy Californian accent) you want to know what I'm trying to say....

me: before that, i want to know who you are...

X: I'm a well-wisher.

me: i have no well-wishers...dude, i donno whether this is for winning a tacky bet or something...i don't know who has told you what, i just wanna say, I'M NOT THAT TYPE... plz don't call again...please...goodbye

hangs up...
calls again...

me: sigh! what do you want mister?

X: your time

me: you have already taken enough.

X: you have more than enough.

me: excuse me?

X: face it Miss Dafria.... you have just Rita with you.... now how much of your precious time will poor lil Rita take??

me: uh..first of all, if you are a spy, i don't care to explain to you anything....secondly, if you are a spy, you are a bad one ...

X: I'm a good spy. You are a bad judge.

me: izzit? so thanks for letting me know...b-bye..

X: Shes a porn star, ypur ex best frnd..

me: (zonked) eh...uh...e...sff..gsdjfd......WHATTTTTTT?!??

X: actually its a 16 min BP...

me: *outta words*...wwhat do u mean...?? who r u talking abt...??

X: My advice--- stay away from her. You have no idea who really she is.

me: seriously, what are you talking abt??

X: isn't this whats eating you up? don't worry, don't cry.... you are not in shit, but will be, if you go back to them.

me: i don't know what to say...how did you...why are you...why are you telling me this?

X: dillydallying dilemma-- should i go back? should i not? did they cheat me? did they not? is she right? was i wrong??....too many questions, one answer.Don't turn back.

me: whats for you in it?

X: the ubiquitous nonentity

me:...donno what to say really...

X: say---> I'm a good spy....

me: ya right...WHO you are a good spy?

X: a good spy. a well wisher. and your last hope... at coming back to life...
(hangs up)

me?? Mesmerised.

Never after that day, have i received his call. I did not know who he was...I still don't....
In the above said conversation, he had narrated two incidents, which helped me majorly to get down to the crux of the then very disturbing matter...the conversation went on for 20 odd mins. after i verified his statements from different sources, a lot of truth abt a lot of ppl i trusted was exposed.

I eagerly awaited his call again. he never called. I have never heard that diction, that voice ever again.Neither the english, nor the unseen confidence.

Such unswerving speech can only be the voice of the truth. Such undeviating articulation that reflected in his voice can only be the language of the truth.When you don't need big words to make a big impact, you know you are speaking the words of truth.

Today when i turn back the pages of my 2005 diary, my heart skips a beat when i come across 25th September.I cant even contemplate the possibilities of what cud have happened hadn't i received that call.I would have been downward mobile till i would have become a victim of my own unforgiveness.

He saved me...and I didn't even get my chance to say thanks. thanks for so many things.

That one phone call bobbed up enough curiosity in me to befriend Sunny Katyal, my now The Best friend.

That one phone call taught me how to not buy words without reservation, even if those words are from your most trustworthy camaraderie...that Truth is Verifiable...

That one phone call stopped me from falling into a quicksand of filth dirt and no return.

That one phone call that showed me a disillusioned direction through enchanted evil and chiseled cheats.

That one phone call changed things, forever.

And i don't know who it was on the other end.

Now, as i think about it, it freaks me out, 3 eaxct years to a life-style changing strange phone call.... will i ever come to know who he was??
He, who gave me everything and took nothing in return.
He, who saved my 20 years in just 20 mins...
He who camly adjudicated when abounding inner-voices quarrelled in an unsure me....

He who in a clandestine manner exposed innumerable facts...

and moreover,
He who saw "ubiquitous nonentity" as his only omnipresent option...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a ringing phone has to be answered--Phone Booth

Who Knows.Who Cares.

answers ill give you, reasons ill explain
silence ill justify, your pleasure, my pain
your queries ill resolve, both old and new
but when unanswered i stood, cared the who?

your hurt ill alleviate, better you will feel
your story ill listen to, real or reel
your tears ill wipe, and even cry with you
but when i sobbed in a corner, cried the who?

your trauma I'll tranquilize, your words ill buy
all the pain you put me through, ill understand why
your scruples I'll silence, and blame time too
but when that time panicked me, consoled the who?

But the who knows my story, these oceans i have cried
the tears i didn't show, were tears i couldn't hide
who knows i was alone, advantage undue
But who knows my story, but for me and you...

So I'm pushing you away, with this wicked smile
breaking the promises i made all this while
suffer you must alone, no ransom, no rescue
Bad coin repayed. now feel bad or betrayed,cares the who??

-------------------------------------------------------------------
One very important thing, mate.I'm Captain Jack Sparrow. --(Pirates of the Carribiean)

J&K

An ingenious example of speech and politics occurred recently in the United Nations Assembly that made the world community smile.

A representative from India began: 'Before beginning my talk I want to tell you something about Rishi Kashyap of Kashmir, after whom Kashmir is named.

When he struck a rock and it brought forth water, he thought, 'What a good opportunity to have a bath.'

He removed his clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the water.

When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished. A Pakistani had stolen them.'

The Pakistani representative jumped up furiously and shouted, 'What are you talking about? The Pakistanis weren't there then.'

The Indian representative smiled and said, 'And now that we have made that clear, I will begin my speech.'


And they say Kashmir belongs to them………………………………………..

For The Last Time...

Tonight i question, i question them all,
them all, those that, they who owe me reasons
for a harrowed end to one tale i recall,
lost in time, beyond space, over seasons...


I question her smile, see me in a lonely corner,
her eyes spoke nothing of character, values or soul
He-She held hands,pointed fingers, and laughed together,
I question the friendship of they once talked, they told...


I question all that they schemed,deemed to destroy,
My eyelashes can still tell the taste of my tears
They thought i was unfazed, weeping with joy,
when i laughed aloud,to just hide my fears...


I question the dirty rumours they fake to shake my grit,
But im a soldier of truth, wont give up so soon
See, for warriors like me, the sky was never the limit,
We know that there are footprints even on the moon...


So dont let the dawn take away your final chance to speak,
old pages i'll fire before i retire tonight
Because,Ofcourse,forgiven- you shall never be,
Though,Although, Forget- I just might...

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Give and you receive,Cherish every breath you breathe...Scriptures on the wall, Those who betray, all must fall...-Ozzy Osbourne

High Hopes...

Roles reverse,
Time's curse,
the end of something bad
the beginning of something worse

i stare into the darkness
it stares right back at me
you don't live on hope, do you?
atleast you don't look that weak
where have i brought myself to?
i have no idea, i have no clue
a land stranger
i sense more danger
not a word, not a sound
i hear my heels hit the ground
i fall on my knees scream and cry
oh how much i miss that purple sky...

roles reverse,times curse
the end of something bad
the beginning of something worse

no more does my hair prick my face
i have numbed myself to life
in search of a golden trace
in more blackness i have arrived
i wipe my tears with my dress
try to get out of this mess
enveloped in vacuum i fight for air
i fight till i fall down, my last moments of despair
i lie down gasping the beating heart all ripped
i think and i think of the life i have lived
how i wish i hadn't ever tried to try
oh how much i miss that purple sky...

roles reverse,times curse
the end of something bad
the beginning of something worse..



(disclaimer: i didnot have a breakup or have had my friends cheating on me or a disasterous domestic life...the above poem was written when i failed to solve 3 outta 5 math problems one afternoon...so ppl, really...im fine!! :D )

---------------------------------------------------------------------
the grass was greener, the light was brighter...of friends surrounded...the nights of wonder-High Hopes(Pink Floyd)

What I Seek....

I seek not an indigent spouse,
His kisses would feel so cajoled
Too lavish for my values, a palatial house,
I seek no man in gold.

I seek not respect in your eyes,
Wont matter if you dont have any
A forlorn attempt at being pound wise,
I seek no penny.

I seek not any friends for life,
My foes have taught me prudence
My friends always stood by my righteous side,
I seek no vengeance.

I seek not a long life ahead,
The years now seem waste of breath
A waste of breath the years i've lived,
I seek no death.

I seek not tear-filled nights,
I feel strugle, strain, i feel hopeless
And then i see my family's demulcent smile,
I seek no other happiness.

So Why I seek? and Seek I What?
the question questions itself
A question found, an identity lost,
In the end I seek- MYSELF.

Part Two: The Two Interviewers

After Part One:The Fellowship of the GD,I was vacillating whether or not to put this up, bcos firstly, potraying myself as a retard on world wide web is not really good for the image building i have done in the last 21 years in making myslef look like a smart,intelligent miss attitude biyatch :P...secondly,also because, i realise that blogging is not about just speaking your mind out, it is a matter of immense responsibility and i've ended up poking fun and lashing out at ppl who not only are strangers but also have meant me no harm...This, well, is something completetly against my principles...however, what begins must end...so before the ending begins...i hereby, bow down and profusely apologise to all those who have been made a victim of my gay humour/dark humour/hypothetical humour/lack of humour...let there be peace :)
one more point, i got a 27/34 in this gdpi,my first gdpi, i was totally unprepared and i could have not thanked my panelists and interviwers more...
--------------------------------------------------------------

Part Two: The Two Interviwers

Things u know:
1) M.F.M: music for the moment,i.e background score
2) Me: called Inner-voice,i.e my conscience/voice in my head/soul/imaginary friend
3) The Glu Glu Glu effect: unclear manner of speech done intentionally to show lack of confidence/shame/fear while saying a certain thing

Things you need to know:

1)Mohinder Suresh: One of the two interviwers...looked like mohinder suresh of the heroes tv series fame.wheatish, curly hair, tall, early 30s mebbe.One of those "typical guys" who won every homi baba/ science scholarship in school...featured in every boards' merit list, went to aggarwal classes, did BE from VJTI or BTech from IIT, did 6months of intern wid Infosys till he got a call from IIM-A,B,C,L,I,K.
For most of the girls,a typical guy is the kinda guy you can take to your mom...for me? well, the kinda guy i'd flaunt to the world...

2)Saroj Khan: The second interviwer.Fat.Mean.Old.Period.

3)C.M: Confidence metre...how i feel about myself in numericals...on a scale of 100, 100 being the max limit...

MFM:Yeah, here we go for the hundredth time...Hand grenade pins in every line...Throw 'em up and let something shine...Going out of my fucking mind...(mentally visualises head banging with two sydenham peons on either side...)
...i bleed it out digging deeper just to throw it away...
CM: 200/100

So, I enter this small cabin to be not very warmly greeted by mohinder suresh and saroj khan.i sit opposite them.submit my cv form.

mohinder: (gives resume to saroj who scans it with narrowed eyes)....so abhilasha....tell us about yr family background/interests?

me: sir, my father is a double gold medalist engineer, did his mba from NITIE and is an industrialist...my mother did her PhD from tata institue of social sciences, is a psychologist and my elder brother just graduated from IIM-L and is working with ICRA...interests, well...dancing and writing are my ultimate passions...besides that i enjoy playing the guitar, i play ward level lawn tennis and i also follow the game of soccer religiously...

saroj: *without lifting head* so if u are such a good dancer and writer then dont u think you are in the wrong career direction?

me: well, writing, dancing are hobbies...something i get a kick out of...i wont make it my means of earning 3 meals a day..

saroj: why not?

me: cos the necessity to eat can not justify the prostitution of art..

saroj:

mohinder: so what kind of writing do you do?

me: i have written for rajasthan patrika, TOI supplements, news engage, metro...

mohinder: so you write on a regular basis?

me: no sir...i send my articles, at times they get published...

mohinder: so they "DO" get published?

me: yes sir...infact recently, less than a month back, a poem of mine got published on the ndtv website...

saroj: what is the upheavel in rajasthan at the moment?

C.M: 90/100
me: the gujjar community...

saroj: so is this happening for the first time or has this happened before?

me: no mam...they have protested before also...nearly a year and half back..

mohinder: correct...

saroj: so you think they are justified with their demands?

me: (i have no goddamn idea what exactly were their demands) no mam i dont think violence is ever justified...not even for equality...

saroj: where does equality come in the picture?? (sensing im shooting in thin air)

me: er...i mean..

saroj: what about all those ppl who lack opportunities? the underprivileged? *angry*

C.M: 75/100
me: er..well seems like these days being an underprivileged is a privelege...i dont think anyone lacks opprtunities, one has to seek it...privelegd or otherwise...

*silence*both look scornfully*

inner voice: madam is more agitated den gujjar community...tum aur kuch mat bolo...chup hojao...

*some more silence*
saroj: *angry looks* *very angry looks**very very very angry looks*

innervoice: shanth gadhadhari bhim...shanth....

me: *unaware of what to do, tries to fill the awkward silence* let us take the example of babasaheb ambedkar...

innervoice: huh??wtf?? abbe riots karayegi kya?....stupid shut up!!

interviewers: *raised eyebrows*

me: *realises that im in trouble now..but cant back out**stone faced*..er...he also came from a so called underpriveleged family...but went on to make the constitution of this country...

inner voice: mumbai bandh!!mumbai bandh!!...we want mumbai bandh...!!

*both look at each other with sheer disbelief* after some moments of silence...

mohinder: so was he always from a poor family? did he get himself converted or sumthing??

innervoice: c, madam is gujjar...now if he turns out to be a sc/st toh tum toh margaye...isliye plz...for global peace and harmony, i PLEA to thou,tum kuch mat bolo...

C.M: 50/100
me: i dont know sir...

(my first "i dont know" of the interview, least did i know, this was just the goddamn inauguration...)

mohinder: ok... so you want to take up mba in..?

me: marketing...

saroj: so u have highest marks in...hmm..english french...hmm..whhats mpp?

me: management and production planning

saroj: what is production planning?

me: (now i knew the defntn of managmnt by heart...bt PP is a considerably broad concept...din evr lrn its defn)..er....pp is the planning of...er...

saroj: planning of production?

me: er..hehe...no...the planning of..the process of...glu glu glu...PP..process...glu glu glu...

saroj: im sorry i didnt get you??

me: er...planning of process intake of raw materials to the delivery of the final output...

inner voice: WHAT-EVER!

mohinder: so wat hppns in the interim...??

C.M: 10/100
me: er...lot of things...like..uh...inventory control...

inner-voice: ideally, "lot of things"=examples>1

me:...work in progress...

mohinder: is work in progress a liabiltiy or asset to the company?

me: er...asset..no!!... liability..er...



M.F.M: Good day to be alive sir...Good day to be alive, he said.....Then it comes to be that the sooooothing light at the end of your tunnel...was just a freight train coming your way....


and den mohinder suresh bombarded me with questions on accounts, whch is so strange...i said i wanna do mba in marketing!! but all he did was...

"wat is asset?...what are contigent liabilities??...wat is a finanicial year?...how is working capital measured??...what is dis??...what is tat??...who are you??...who am i??...where is osama?"

and all i did was....

"i donno knw sir...no sir...no idea sir...donno sir...sorry sir...yes sir,CERTAINLY dont know tat one sir...."


Through the glass windows i could see other PI takers of my group, getting out of their cabins...and it so happened that i was the first person to be sent to an interview cabin!!

innervoice: yeh kya ho raha hai beta duryodhan?

saroj: so u have mentioned in yr weakness: "lose out on individuality at times,in order to ape successful ppl".explain.

C.M:0/100
me: its like sometimes i blindly copy ppl who are successful without asking myself if i really want to go by that beaten road...

saroj: example?

me: *random rambling....self conjured examples...not convincing*

saroj:second weakness: "close possible doors in order to retain focus..." explain WITH EXAMPLE...

innervoice: why the fuck did u have to write such hi-fi weakness-es......stupid wannabe!

me: a chinese general named Xiang Yu crushed his troops’ cooking pots and burned their ships wen he entered an enemey's territory..so tat they can nvr turn back...i also follow that ideology but sometimes it backfires...*again, self conjured examples...not even remotely convincing*
mohinder: *while reading my resume*...hmm...you have good communication skills...

me: thank you :)

mohinder: huh?..no i was reading yr strengths...

inner voice:

me:

saroj: so how will you sell an air-conditioner to an eskimo?

me: by first selling to him the merits of living in Egypt...

Mohinder gives a faint smiles (must of thot of Hiro Nakamura den :P)

both look at each other...den say "ok".. dont even look at me...i say "thank you"...they dont respond...

expression on saroj's face----->i dont like you...
expression on my face--> me too...i found him nice tho...
expression on mohinders face-----> i dont like you...

so I get the message and I leave....

M.F.M: Toota toota ek parinda aise toota....Luta luta kisne usko aise luta ke phir udna paaya...(mentally visualises being pushed and crammed in a mumbai local train although i walking in sydenham's empty corridors)...tukde tukde ho gaye tha har sapna jab woh tutaaa.....ooooooooooo......tukde tukde...allah ke bandhe hasde allah ke bandhe ...

me: sha! :( god is being super mean to me re...its like im not His favourite anymore...

innervoice: raghupati raghav rajaram...pati ka pawan sitaram...ishwar allah tero naam......sab ko admission de bhagwan....

me: duh!! im talking to you...are you even listening?

innervoice: dude! enough of me listening!now you will listen to me!what have u made of yrself??...why do you think being smart is the alpha and omega of success..dont you want to be considered an itellectual? a know-all?? dude,being multi-faceted doesnot get you anywhere...being a good dancer..playing the guitar..tennis..fine!but will these talents help you attain your goal?? unless, ofcourse yr goal is to woo a guy with yr dancing skills...but what kinda guy will get impressed wid only tat?? not the "typical guy" for sure... so u wanna marry a bcom graduate...diamonds bsns n all??

me: hell no!! God plz God plz......i want to marry engineering+IIM guy/guys...

innervoice: and why do you think would an IItian or IIM marry you huh? they would want a girl of their intellect...tell me something, when someone on chat asks you abt yr education...what do u say...?

me: brb... :(

innervoice: and if he/she still pushes it...

me: brb....2 more mins....mom is calling... :(

innervoice: arghh!! still still stilllllll pushes it?????

me:still pushes...den.... my education glu glu glu......i did commer...glu glu glu...commerce gradua..glu glu glu...

innervoice: ashamed to be a commerce graduate right?? well that is what education does...its abt building a character, having that confidence, having those sparkling eyes that shine of knowledge...its abt being a great dancer or guitarist AND having a respectable degree to fall back on...now THAT my frnd is the differnce b/w an average and....

my phone interrupts the never-ending sermon...its rohan calling...

my ringtone: where do bad folks go wen dey dieeeeeee....dey dont go to heaven wherr the angels fly...they go to a lake of fire and fry...see 'em again till the 4th of july...

innervoice: dont talk to him he's gay..

me: *ignores innervoice*..hullo??

rohan: so how goes the going girl??

me: baaaad...

rohan: y bad?

me: dude, horrendous interview!!its like dey just didnt like me yaar...interrogated me like a terrorist...u know something...i just act smart...the matter of fact remains i donno a thing needed to be called an intellectual...im a bimbo!!


rohan: o.o!! believe you me...you are not a bimbo...u have no idea who a bimbo is...absolutely no idea...

me: u do?

rohan: well, u know a frnd of mine had her interview too...she said hobbies "travelling" apparently...full show-off kiya...been here...been there...all diff countries...so the interviwer goes like..."wats the capital of thailand?" and the babe says...."malaysia!!"

me:

inner voice:

two ppl on cross connection:

me: wtf!! dude! you are right...now TATS being a bimbo...aur mujhe sab fin related questions poocha...ab mane kya pata?? mane bcom kiye hue toh saal hogaya na??..gujjar gujjar kar rahe the....aree arsenal par poocho...soccer par poocho...doongi main sab answers...kyun nahi doongi yaar? darti thodi hoon main...aur fin-related questions poocha toh poocha kyun???... jab maine pehle hi keh diya tha...ki dekho bhaiyee...i want to do mba in marketing...toh fir poocha kyunnnn??spasht shabdoon main kaha tha maine...kaha tha ki nahi kaha tha? bilkul keh diya tha...jate se hi...

Rohan: dey must be knowing only fin related questions re...its not always we who have saturated knowledge...its the other way too...which reminds me, i read yr enemies blog...all human rights/women's status in india/child labour/communalism...her blog toh is like ek dum..!!glu glu glu..zzzzzzzzZzz...glu glu glu...

me:


Rohan: "cant read, cant read...page not openin, page not openin...bye bye bye bye "...karne jaisa hai...freak! wat a loser man..ispe koi comment kaise maar sakta hai?

me: hum log bhi comment karte hain..."yr blog glu glu...yr blog is very glu glu glu glu"

Rohan: ROTFL! ROTFL!...OR..'excuse-me madaam..what does your blog mean?'lol

me: rotflolzzzz....fir woh bhi humko likhegi..."dude,wat does YOUR blog mean?"

Rohan: martians invadin earth..!!and vice versa feelings ..!!haha...losers man...

me: lolzz!! haha...you are right man...losers completely...

inner voice: you are soooo jealous....

me: er...wait! dude!! dont you see?? i am actually envious of her...cos im not as well-informed and updated as she is...SO i dont like her...my ego forbids me to accept that she is a woman of substance and I am not...

rohan: So?

me:...yeah screw tat bitch!

rohan: ya bitch! i hate tat bitch!

me: dude thanx for calling man and ofcourse assuring me that im neither a loser nor a bimbo...i was feeling so low...u really cheered me up...thanx :)

inner-voice: oh hullo?? whrs dis conversation going?? dude!! MOHINDER SURESH thinx tat YOU Ms.ABHILASHA DAFRIA are a loser AND a bimbo...now you will buy mohinder- the typical guy's take or ronnys who apparently is gay??

rohan: c'mon man...wats the thanx for...never call yrself a bimbo...ABHILASHA DAFRIA is much more than that...

innervoice: fine! you choose!!

And so ladies and gentlemen...I was made to choose, weigh the merits v/s the demerits and choose...a destiny was to be written...a revolution was to begin...a new leaf was to be turned and a choice was to be made...a choice between my innervoice...and my close friend Rohan (who apparently is gay)....what would that choice be? in fear wondered all..."will it have an effect on the credit crunch?"..."will it be influenced by the nuke deal??"..."will it strengthen the ruppee?"...

i thought hard what to do...and then finally picked one...i could hear faint hip-hop music in the background...i let the music vibes take over me...i started singing my way down to the ground floor...

*sings*
hai BE
hai iit
mba ki bhi hai degree

mohinder ko science ka craze hai
mohinder newton se tez hai
mohinder maths main smart bada
mohinder ko aata laplace hai (laplace hai...echoes..laplace hai...)

job offers kayi haatho main, hai koi IIM wala...
BUT...

*suspense build up*
*everyone awaits the final verdict*
*sleeping sydenham peons suddenly wake up fearing the increase in job-cuts*

me: *loudly* BUT MOHINDER CANT DANCE SAALA!!

hey hey hey hey! the music begins...the beats...the drums....sydenham students dance with delight.......my inner voice poofs......share market crashes...ronny does a small sunny deol dance......ppl throw books in the air...the music gets louder...YEAH PAPU NACH NAHI SAKTA...


--------------------(to be contd...the final episode of the superhit triology....PART THREE:THE RETURN OF THE INNERVOICE)------------------

May be I have Self doubts, May be I dont...

(so it was pouring heavily yesterday and i watched with excitement and craving eyes, few young boys play football on a nearby ground @kj sommaiya, as i waited for my frnd to pick me up...i saw them getting drenched, splashing muddy water, fighting, screaming...whoa!! it was awesome!!...my true love for the game (and also since few of them were playing real lousy soccer) made me think, MAYBE i should go and ask if they'd allow me to play with them...ofcourse,the better sense prevailed and realising that being the only girl around, not knowing at all who those hooligans were ,Maybe it was not such a great idea...anyway, in a couple of minutes my frnd was there and i stepped into her car forgetting the urge/desire/want to play the game...what i did not forget was the "maybe-maybe not" dilemma...i pondered.. what if all the things abt myself that i took as axioms in life...all that i knew i was...was hypothetical and unreal? All the things i say with a sense of certainty, maybe, just maybe, are a figment of my imagination....well,i came up with this on my drive back home,read on...)

Maybe, I dont need a friend
Maybe, I am strong and tough
Maybe, it'll be just me in the end
Maybe, having just me would be good enough

Maybe, the king laugh i just fake,
Maybe, I am very dejected
Maybe, its all for the ego's sake
Maybe, I am the one rejected

Maybe, I just act to be pretty and more,
Maybe, the effects never had a cause
Maybe, I'm not the queen-bee anymore
Maybe, I never-ever was.

Maybe, I'm not an intellcetual girl,
Maybe, I'm not even street-smart
Maybe, my guitar hates my curl,
Maybe, I'll never learn the art

Maybe, I dont have almond eyes,
Maybe, I just thought i do
Maybe, it was just a pair of lies
Mirror to me, me to you

Maybe, these praises they all simply tell,
Maybe, they are just guarded
Maybe, they know me really well
Maybe, I'm retarded.




------------------------------------------------------------
cos maybe, you are gonna be the one that saves me...and afterall, you are my wonderwall...-Oasis

Part One: The Fellowship of the GD

venue: Sydenham college
M.F.M: here i am on the road again...there i am, im playing star again...turn the page...

no, this is blog is not on some rock show @a college fest but this is my First ever experience @ a gdpi.before i go abt this blog, there r certain things fellow readers must know.

1) Music for the Moment (M.F.M): this is the background score...unfortunately i cant make the song play as soon as your computer detects that you have reached a particular line, so you just presume the song playing in the background... and dont worry, ill come up with the self-detection technology soon :)

2)ME: I have introduced Me to You in an earlier blog, but incase you were born a day ago...meet ME, my alter idem, my soul, my conscience also read as imaginary friend...will call it Inner-Voice in this blog...

3) Glu GLu GLU effect: all close friends would know this one...but who dont, well its an onomatopoiea...the kinda voice we make by saying a word@high speed and simultaneously running our fingers over the mouth to deliberately make voice unclear (done to show uncertainity of speech, shame on/fear of saying something)er...read on!!


so...i entered the college and made my way up to the SIMSREE dept....was made to sit wid 6 others in a classroom and asked to fill a form...a girl sitting next to me peeks into my form...suddenly,

girl:You dont have to write Maharashtra Board!! Its pune board!
Me: ??...MINE is mahrashtra board!!
girl:NOT possible...(removes SSc ceritificate)....see!! pune board!
Me: *freaks out* dude!....*takes a pause*...but pune is in maharashtra?!?
girl: *turns her head off*...i dont know that...
Inner Voice: wat a bimbo! u concenterate on yr form...write strngths/wknss
well...they'll totally grill u on tat...and btw, why arent YOU carrying YOUR certificates??
me: *minor heart-stroke*

So after confirming from not very convincing sources that the certs arent necessary i finally cool myself..and prepare myself for my first ever GD...
a person enters the classroom and asks us to walk towards the GD room in a straight line....we all walk with footsteps of a 300 spartans...


Inner Voice: dude...relax...be confident...you r an eloquent speaker...u'll do good...
ME: yeah...i'll do good...
Inner voice: yeah man! wat u gonna do??
Me: im gonna do good!!
Inner Voice: louder!! wat u gonna do??
me: IM GONNA DO GOOD!!
*pumped up*


M.F.M: We're causin' utter devastation,When we steppin' to the place...We're gonna rock and never stop And here we go again...Hit you with the flow again...we will we will rock you!
(mentally visualises walking upto one of the panelists and rapping on his face....)..buddy you are an old man, poor man.... u got mud on your face, big disgrace....
*more pumped up*

bring it on attitude!
GD--------> begins.
Topic------> given
Me---------->

topic: Rivers in India should be connected to improve water managemnet.
we were given scrap papers to jot down points.
the only points i have thought of so far:
1)connecting rivers is far-fetched and gay.
2)73% of earths surface is water.
3)pts.1 and 2 are not inter-related.

the pune board girl begins the gd...
says: connecting rivers is THE BEST solution to water problems...gives gyaan...random stats...
everyone:nod in agreement...

me: *minor stroke*...

guy besides me continues agreein wid the pune board girl
says: NINETY-SEVEN % of earth's surface is water...

me: *major-stroke*

another guy comes with some random rambling...i by now, recover from the distortion of the only piece of statistic i knew and decide to join the gd...

me: i agree with you...(unaware of wat im agreeing with)...india is an agrarian country....agriculture is the backbone of our economy, we need water for irrigation..hence it is extremely important to manage the water we have to strenthen our economy...73% of earth surface is water and 3 sides of india is covrd wid water...

guy1: *tries to correct me* its 97%...

me: 73 actually....*loudly*..had it been 97, we would be having this gd in a submarine now...*smiles politely*

everyone: break into guffaws...

panelists:

me: (my strategy:make ppl laugh...and then drop bombs)...in many parts of eastern rajasthan, many farmers depend on rain water...proper water managmnt--->proper irrigation facilities---->blah blah...

guy2 continues on rain water issue...comes up wid seasonal crops gyaan...a lot of discussion on rain water issue...my fluke rajasthan statemnt seemed to have emotionally touched dem or something...

after 10mins again gd goes in "sinking" state...

Me: reduce regional disparities...no state will claim ownage of a water body...

public again gets excited...talk abt narmada...kaveri-paaneri...i donno wat not...

guy3: by connecting rivers we will send a message of unity in the country...

me: yes yes...very philosophical...

panel: giggles...

again a lot of random stuff...everyone out of topic...gd drifts...ppl talk abt water pollution

me:

ppl talk more abt water pollution...causes/effects...how to reduce water pollution...

me:*speaks with authority* water pollution is an independent issue...we will deal with that later once we know how to go about the river connecting project..

everyone: *hurt*
pune board girl: *cries*
:P :P no...j/k...actually one of the panelist takes it from here...

panelist:ok...nice to see the youth agreeing on one thing unanimously...

me: *slowly tries to strike off the first point writen on the scrap paper*

panelist: so....how do u think should we go about this project...now that you all agree with this...

me: i think to begin with, we must first chalk out graphically how and where the rivers will connect...whether or not we have the funds...and how will we compensate to those who lose their lands in this project...(again, well spoken...but HOW WILL WE? was the question right?..hehe...who cares)

guy1: yes some laws should be laid down...committee formed...blahblah...

pune board girl: so many funds have been wasted...politics creeping in...

me:*speaks with authority* now lets not brood ovr the past and rather plan systematically what can be done in order to make this project happen...(yes but WAT CAN BE DONE? is the question right!...who cares dahling...who cares..)

panalist:candidates 3 and 4 havent spoken a word....plz speak up...any language would do...

candiaite 3: i hv hrd...means...(broken english)...some places..dead bodies dey...*looks at me and makes action indicating i donno wat*...dey dont burn...bodies....in water...dey...

me: dispose off?

she: yes...so tats not good for health also... :|

me: yes...true true...(w/e dude...wats she talking abt...anyway...i was being highly encouraging den..)

panalist: what has candidate 4 to say abt this?

candidate 4:*hesitates*..er...our topics is....*reads out topic aloud*...and everyone is agree with this...

panalist:tats all tat you have to say??

candidate 4:...matlab...electricity bhi badegi...isse...

me:(whoa dude! wat a point! hes einstein with a lingo problem really...)

panalist: well ok....we are very happy with the gd..nice to see the youth so aware and enthusiatic...you know, this project was made few years back...by mr.prabhu...called garland project but couldnt materialise...politics plays a bad role in the country...all the best for yr PI...

*everyone gets up to go*

me:sir, the youth is here....we will make a difference....*smiles with confidence*

Inner Voice: tumhara yeh bada problem hai...tum bahut bolte ho...tum khudke life main toh difference la nahi paye...abhi unwanted smartass comments kyun marte ho...

panelist:*smiles* how much did u get in CET?

me: ...er... ninety-two...glu glu glu....ninety-two point...glu glu glu glu...

Inner Voice: abhi glu-glu-glu kya kar rahi hai...bolna!!...pehle toh bahut bol rahi thi...heronie ki tarah...

me: sir 92.31...*lil dispapointed look*

sir: well...all the best for yr pi...hope to see you in sydenham...

me: er...thank you...(???)


later...
me: dude...not bad ok...not bad at all...i was witty...i spoke well...good command ovr language...awesome confidence...

Inner Voice: yes yes...and speaking substance was never a criteria...

me: c'mon dude...i spoke abt eastern rajasthan ok...

Inner Voice: WHAT, I ask, do u know abt eastern rajasthan?

me: tats its in the east of rajasthan...er...

Inner Voice: wow!! u seem to be an avid newspaper reader...

me: aye c'mon yaar!! i spoke reallly well...i was uper impressed myself...and tat sir said..."hope to c u in sydnm..."...

Inner-voice: all i ask is...how much substance did u talk?? dont you feel ashamed? you didnt know anything abt current affairs...you and yr stupid friends make fun of bimbos...tats all you do...all the time!!...YOU, ms.Dafria!!YOU are the biggest bimbo!

me: oh puh-leaze!! i super smart ok!! i mean...i'll read newspaper aajse...all i donno is current affairs na?...but still I WAS the best in the group...

Inner Voice: go and thank god for relative misery...

me: dude dont do this ok...encourage me...i have a PI in 5 mins ...stop demoralising...

Inner Voice: fine fine!!go...speak well...now tat its the only strength u have...dont let yr confidence level drop for even once...you stand out for yr level of confidence...u know tat...encash on it...go my lil tigress!!

me: yeah baby!!

Inner Voice: so wat you gonna do?

me: im gonna do good!!

Inner Voice: louder!! wat u gonna do??

me: IM GONNA DO GOOD!!
*pumped up*

bring it on attitude!

MFM:Yeah, here we go for the hundredth time...Hand grenade pins in every line...Throw 'em up and let something shine...Going out of my fucking mind...(mentally visualises head banging with two sydenham peons on either side...)...i bleed it out digging deeper just to throw it away...


(to be contd....PI exp coming soon---Part two: The Two Interviewers)--------------------------------------------------------------------------